To know the Father’s love will change your life forever!
This is a part of my life’s testimony that the Lord prompted me to share with the Women’s ministry at my church, and I want to share it with you. I pray that it blesses you.
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Ever since I was born again my favorite prayer has always been simply: show me, Lord. Although I read the Bible, listen to sermons, study and meditate, I ask the Lord to shine His light on all it; to give me His revelation.
One day, while still a baby Christian, suddenly I had a great desire to speak at a Christian meeting. I did not understand it at all as I was very shy. I could not even stand before an audience to give a short announcement. So, I asked simply: Lord, show me what you want of me and how to do it.
Suddenly during meditation a very vivid scene appeared before my eyes of little black girls who were talking excitedly with me and touched me all over. They were very pleasant and had a lot of questions for me. I recognized it instantly as the scene at the schoolyard of my very first morning as a first grader. I remembered telling my mom tearfully that I never ever wanted to return to school.
According to me, these girls were yelling, touching me all over and shouting insults at me. Mom explained that the name they were calling me was simply the nickname for Dutch people. She further explained that the majority of them were bussed in from outlying districts and had probably never even seen a white person.
For me, however, it was traumatic as I did not understand their language and these gals did not yet understand Dutch, which was the language of instruction in the school system. At that time the Caucasian population of Curaçao, in the Netherlands Antilles where I grew up, was only 1%.
The Lord showed me that truly these little girls were very friendly and that they really wanted to know me. I now understood that I had been offended by that experience to the point that it had created timidity in me. Once I realized that, I was filled with peace and was instantly set free from my shyness. Several days after that I was asked to give a testimony at a women’s meeting, and I was able to tell them yes without fear. I cannot change anything by myself – but with Him I can do all things! (Phil. 4: 13)
One evening during worship at my prayer group I suddenly felt myself sitting on the Father’s lap. My eyes were closed but I saw myself surrounded by white light. My heavenly Papa was clothed in a white robe down to His feet and He held me tight in his arms. It was a sublime moment of peace. One woman in the group facing me prophesied: Ask of Me what you want. As I opened my eyes, she was looking straight at me, and I knew it was for me. Simultaneously my hands, which are habitually cold, became very hot.
Several years ago I was plagued with much pain in my right shoulder for a number of months. One Sunday I received a prophetic word that I was full of resentment. That word means to re-feel painful experiences of the past. At first I was surprised, but then I realized that indeed I had been focusing a lot on regrets of the past.
The Lord showed me how the devil is constantly trying to direct our thoughts towards the hurts of the past. It is his goal to redirect our focus from the Lord to the past. But God is I AM. He is always in the present and is leading us towards our future in Him. It is His desire that we are happy in Him throughout all of life’s circumstances.
When our perception of life does not line up with what the Word says, we must ask ourselves where those thoughts came from. He tells us to focus on: whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (Phil. 4: 8)
As long as I keep my thoughts on Him, He helps me renew my mind so that I may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Rom. 12:2)
At that time He showed me that I needed to forgive several people. That seemed strange to me, as I had already pardoned them. I asked the Lord to explain what to do and why I had to forgive all over again. He then showed me that I saw myself as a victim and that, according to me, those who had hurt me did not have the right to be forgiven.
According to the world, it is not right that hurtful people should be forgiven. But justice is according to the law, and we are under God’s Grace, which nobody deserves. Jesus Christ died for every single person and He came for whoever would believe in Him. Everyone is victim of the devil’s influences, which go back for generations. All victims of injustice commit in turn more sins, and every sin brings about consequences.
The prophet Jonah refused to evangelize the city of Nineveh because he knew God’s goodness and he did not want his worst enemies to be saved. He surely is a sign for us to believe and obey. When the Pharisees asked Jesus for a sign, he replied that their only sign was that of Jonah. Just as he spent 3 days and 3 nights in the belly of a fish and had to die to self in order to do God’s will, so Jesus would spend 3 days and 3 nights in the grave and be raised to glory. (Mat. 12:40)
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says the Lord. (Rom. 12: 19) Thank you, Lord, I’m so happy that You are the Judge, as hate only brings about more pain.
Forgiveness does not mean that those who harmed you are now your friends. When I forgive it’s like saying to the Lord that I also don’t have the right to be forgiven for my sins. I have no right to tell Him whom He died for! Whenever I think of how he forgave those who wounded Him, I realize just a little more the depth of His love for me.
After this revelation that evildoers had themselves been wounded and led by satan for generations, I was able to forgive with all my heart. It’s not about me; it’s all about Him! At the moment I realized that, I was healed of the pain in my shoulder.
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (Rom. 8: 28) and that: “we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us” (Rom. 8: 37).
Now I also understand better how we must reign with Christ in His Kingdom. He has given us everything we need in order to triumph over the enemy. For me the most powerful weapons to redirect our thoughts toward the Lord are praying in tongues and praise.
Whenever I am in the pits and the least thing I feel like doing is praising, that is the best time to praise Him or pray in tongues. The devil flees from praise and he does not understand tongues, which is the Holy Spirit praying through us, and he is the only one who really knows what we need. As we do not understand this heavenly language ourselves, our minds cannot interrupt what the Spirit is saying, and thus the pure prayers go unaltered directly to the throne of God.
Praise transforms unhappiness into joy. He has given us: beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified. (Isa. 61: 3)
I had always loved praising the Lord in church. However, something tended to hold me back from fully entering in. Since then I now praise Him from the bottom of my heart for who He is and what He has done for me.
We are more than conquerors in Him and: “He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels, says the Lord” (Rev. 3:5).
Once the Word of God becomes a rhema, or personal revelation, to you then it becomes a sacrifice of love rather than a commandment that is hard to do.
One example of such a revelation is when my husband suffered an aneurysm in his brain. I felt I had a lot of faith and that everything would turn out all right. But, whenever the doctor would tell me how his condition was worsening, I would doubt and be afraid. Consequently I became somewhat of a yo-yo. One day I would have faith for a miracle and the next day I would doubt, even though I knew that in order to walk by faith we must ignore the symptoms.
The more I prayed in tongues during the following months, the more my faith level increased until one morning the doctors told me to let him go in peace. Early that day every organ in Jack’s body stopped to the point that only the life support system kept his heart pumping. Our pastor, along with a prayer warrior friend and my family, alternately prayed out loud in tongues and praised continually that morning, in total disregard of who or what was going on around us in the Intensive Care Ward. Suddenly peace enveloped us and everyone was of one accord that Jack would be healed.
Several doctors came to explain that recovery was impossible and in so many words that I was crazy to even consider the possibility. But, in my heart I kept on hearing: “I will yet praise Him!” and so I kept on praising. This came effortlessly as my heart was totally at peace. Did my husband receive his miracle? Yes!
Another instance the Lord gave me a rhema word was when I had a uterine cyst the size of a lemon. One Sunday morning as the pastor was praying for my healing I felt faith welling up within me and I knew that I knew that I was healed. I heard the words deep within, saying: “You have already been healed on the cross; the pastor prayed for you, receive your healing.” As I left the church I told the pastor that I had received the healing and that I would cancel the operation slated for that Tuesday first thing in the morning. I saw the look on his surprised face, and discussed none of this with anyone else except my faith-filled husband. This, by the way is important, as it is easy to get sidetracked by well-meaning friends. You must proclaim the healing; not the problem.
The fibroid cyst was not painful, but did produce a constant flow of blood. The next morning there was very little blood. I spoke in tongues a lot, all the while thanking the Lord for my miracle. Each time I saw blood I spoke out loud directly to the cyst and the devil, commanding them to leave in the name of Jesus. That is our right as co-heirs of Jesus. Within approximately one month there was no more trace of blood and I knew that I was completely healed.
When I returned to see the surgeon for my annual examination, he did not say a word. When I finally asked him if there was a cyst, he merely shook his head, and shrugged his shoulders when I explained that the Lord had healed me months before.
That’s the power of a god-given revelation coupled with praise and prayer. I do not advise anyone to cancel an operation, however, unless you have a definitive conviction from the Lord.
You are the Lord’s beloved; He dances with you, He sings over you, and He gives you the power to overcome any circumstance in your life – together with Him! What a God we serve! What He has done for me, He will also do for you!
You may want to say the following prayer with me:
Father God, I thank you for your incomprehensible love for me. Show me your face, Lord; I want to see you, and to know you more and more each day. Show me the power of your resurrection and the fellowship of your sufferings so that I may be become like you in your death (Phil. 3: 10)
Help me, Lord, to forget what is behind and lead me to what is ahead. I want to rejoice in you all the days of my life and not to be anxious for anything. I lift all my needs up to you in exchange of your peace, which surpasses all understanding, and will keep my heart and thoughts set on you. Amen.
